Things They Don’t Tell You About Your Marriage After The Baby

“I’m PREGNANT!”

Probably the most exciting words a woman can ever say.

From the very moment you announce your exciting news, the advice comes rolling in. But you really don’t know what to truly expect…until it happens to you.

Time goes by so quickly and you suddenly find yourself in a hospital gown, watching your man hold his baby for the first time. It’s a hard-to-explain feeling that overcomes you. This little person that you both can’t seem to stop staring at, made you a MOM and him a DAD!

Leading up to this moment, you probably have heard a lot of stories and experiences through your family, friends and even strangers at the grocery store who saw your pregnant belly. But the feeling you get when you see him in the corner of the room, rocking your sweet baby and whispering in their little ears, kissing their little lips, rubbing their little nose and holding them tight – makes you fall madly in love. Even more in love than you already were.

Here are a few things you probably weren’t told about your marriage after the baby comes.

The Things They Don't Tel You About Your Marriage AFTER The Baby

You will be told that you will be utterly exhausted, that you will need to sleep when the baby sleeps and that your hormones will be raging… BUT what they forget to tell you is how instantaneously you will become a team. Immediately. And you will need him and he will need you. And you will fall more in love with him, than you had the first time.

They will tell you that you will fall asleep at 6pm… BUT what they don’t tell you is that going to sleep that early is actually a dream come true to you as a mom. And that you would do anything to fall asleep early with a man on your right and a baby on your left. You will feel so complete. 

They will tell you that date night will be brushed to the side and will become nonexistent. You will be told to say goodbye to time for just the two of you… BUT they forget to say that you actually CAN date, it will just be a little different. Instead of a five course meal on the rooftop overlooking the city, you will put the baby down and have pizza in your living room while cuddling on the couch. And you will realize that you would have it no other way.

You will hear that you may get frustrated easily with how he changes diapers and heats the bottles wrong… BUT nobody tells you that they are going to be silly, useless fights that don’t even matter. AND that when there is a baby involved, you try extra hard to get along, which means you learn to forgive quickly. You realize it doesn’t matter what onesie he chooses or how he did the dishes, because you’re just grateful that he tried.

You will hear that you will probably stay in your pajamas all day and won’t have the energy to dress to impress your man…BUT nobody will tell you that he will still think you are the most beautiful woman in the world – no matter what.  

You will be told that the expectations are higher and you will need to make healthy meals for your family every single night… BUT nobody will tell you that once you have a baby, you actually have the excuse to do whatever you want. You can go grab a pizza because you are just too tired to cook or you can have leftovers for days just because you feel like it.

You will hear that you won’t have time to talk to each other any more…BUT what they REALLY mean is that your talk will just be a little different. Your conversations will turn into topics about baby poop textures and smells, eating habits and crazy mommy moments that have to be shared. In fact, you will probably start sending texts to your man that look like this

You will be told that flirting in your marriage will be nonexistent…BUT don’t believe it. Because I don’t think there is anything sexier than a man who gets up in the early hours of the morning with a baby to let the mama sleep a few more hours. That is MY kind of flirting!

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They will tell you that your priorities are going to change…BUT what they don’t tell you is that the moment they lay that baby in your arms, you realize that nothing in the world matters, except for your family. And there is no place you would rather be, than having dance parties as a family in the kitchen after dinner.

They will tell you that you will have lists of things you need from your man…BUT nobody will tell you that becoming a mom helps you realize that it is the little things that your man does that actually matters. Like going to work. Changing a diaper. Reading a bedtime story. Kissing you hello. Not to mention that there is NO better sound than hearing your man making your baby laugh.

They will tell you that you will look at him differently…BUT nobody will tell you how quickly it happens. AND it is a good different.  It happens the moment you see him hold that sweet baby in his arms for the first time. You think your heart is going to completely burst out of your chest and fall onto the floor. 

They will tell you to get ready for your relationship to take a turn. That your marriage will completely change. That YOU will change. That HE will change…BUT nobody will tell you that it is the BEST change you can ever ask for. 

Because it will be a turn that will make you fall in love all over again. again. and again. 

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6 Comments on Things They Don’t Tell You About Your Marriage After The Baby

  1. Jill
    October 8, 2016 at 3:10 pm (7 years ago)

    I want to thank you for this article. I am pregnant with our first child and experiencing a lot of what I hope are normal fears of what will happen to my marriage, and mourning what our marriage was. There are so many negative articles out there, this brought me a lot of comfort. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Lisa
    March 2, 2016 at 4:57 pm (8 years ago)

    I just have to say… as a new mom of a 3 month old little girl, I am SO grateful for your positive spin on reality. Throughout my pregnancy as well as the last three months, it seems like everything out there for moms is centered around such negativity! I don’t know why women like terrifying and shaming each other! You aren’t saying life is all roses and rainbows, but it can feel that way with the right mindset. Love your outlook, it seems to match mine, but you still inspire me to be better. I have you bookmarked on my laptop and phone, and I’ve liked you on FB too. Thank you!

    Reply
  3. Danielle
    January 26, 2016 at 4:32 pm (8 years ago)

    I completely agree with this article, except that my husband doesn’t change diapers wrong :). Since our little girl came, our relationship has gotten nothing but better. We argue less because we are so happy and all the more in love. And we love just spending time together as a family. But once baby goes down we have fun or romantic evenings a couple times a week. Board games, movie marathon, a few drinks and looking at the photo album, etc. You DEFINITELY can still date after baby. When your child grows up and leaves home, you are still with your husband. So don’t let that relationship go, make it even stronger. In doing so, you are setting a great foundation for your child and relationships as well. Thanks for the article, I really enjoyed it.

    Reply
  4. Lacey
    December 4, 2015 at 8:46 pm (8 years ago)

    What a wonderful article! My husband and I want a baby very badly, usually these types of blogs leave me sad- but this has inspired me and made me look forward for the next step in our lives.

    Reply
  5. Morgan
    November 17, 2015 at 8:36 pm (8 years ago)

    Thank you so much for this post! My husband and I have been married nearly 8 years and don’t have any children yet (by choice for a number of reasons) it gets so discouraging, and quite frankly scary, to hear what seems like everyone talking about how having kids ruined their relationships. Your positive perspective gives me hope that if we do have kids one day it won’t mean losing the great relationship we have!

    Reply
  6. Morgan
    November 14, 2015 at 12:24 am (8 years ago)

    I really appreciate your perspective. My husband and I have delayed having children for a lot of reasons and have a great relationship. When we talk about having kids it is so discouraging to hear so many people talking about how kids have “messed up” their marriages. Thank you for some positive perspective!

    Reply

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