To The Man At Target Who Judged My Pregnant Body

We FINALLY were going on a date! It had been a few months since my husband and I had been able to squeeze a night away in, just the two of us. I was SO excited to surprise him with a night full of Christmas shopping for our three-year-old, a nice dinner that we could have an uninterrupted conversation at AND I even bought tickets to a “guy movie” since the last {at least} 10 times we have been to the theater it has been for a kid’s animated film. #momlife

As we were getting ready for our special night together, I noticed my husband was putting on his cutest clothes! He put on a cozy sweater and even tucked his DC shoes away and dusted off on his nice fancy shoes that he doesn’t exactly love, but wears them because he knows that I like them.

He looked perfect and I wanted to look perfect for him too.

That was when I opened my closet door and found myself just staring at all of the pieces of clothing that were hung up. From sweaters and jackets to shirts and dresses – the options were definitely there.

So I put a shirt on, looked in the mirror…and took it off. I put on a dress, looked in the mirror… and took it off. So I then put on a sweater, looked in the mirror…and lo and behold, I took it off. It didn’t take long for a pile of clothes to cover my floor.

You see, it wasn’t because I didn’t like the clothes or that they didn’t smell good or that they had stains on them or that they didn’t look good… it was simply because of one thing… they didn’t fit.

Being 9 months pregnant and being much larger than normal, this wasn’t a surprise to me…after all, I am giving birth to a baby in less than two weeks.

Feeling a little discouraged, but also extremely proud of my baby bump – I went into my husband’s closet, where I found one of his oversized tees that actually fit me right now, threw on a jacket with some maternity jeans and called it a day.

I knew my husband and even though I may not have looked “perfect” in my eyes, like I wanted to be for him – I knew he would understand and think that I looked “perfect” to him.

We arrived at Target to do some shopping before our dinner and a movie date – and let me tell you, walking around that store child free feels like a tropical vacation! We had so much fun together and highly recommend it to anyone!

As I was pushing my cart up and down the aisles…that was when I met you. You may not know who you are. You may not know how what you said and how you greeted me made me feel. You may not have meant harm. You may not have meant anything at all. But considering the circumstances, I write to you today, sir…to let you know the truth.

As we passed each other in the aisle, you looked straight at my pregnant body and belly and said nothing, but… “WOAH!” with your eyes real big, not being able to take them off my 37 week old belly.

As a soon-to-be-mom I am used to people commenting on my belly and congratulating me and asking how far along I am…but your one word… “WOAH!” made me speechless at that moment. I didn’t say anything back to you, as I kept walking. But just as you walked away from me, I so badly wanted to tell you just a few things.

So here I am today, telling you what I wish I would have told you:

Photo by Christine Olson Photography 

1. I HAVE HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS: First off, I want you to know that you aren’t the only person that has thought, “WOAH!” when seeing my pregnant body. Just 20 minutes before I saw you, I sat in my closet, looking at myself in the mirror thinking the EXACT same thing actually. “WOAH” I said to myself as I saw my big belly. I don’t fit into anything. I am extremely uncomfortable. I waddle like a penguin. And I hurt all over. “WOAH” is a word that I could definitely describe myself often with and I definitely agree with you.

2. BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL: This is something that is very important to remember. You never know what someone is going through. You never know how someone is feeling. You never know how one little word and facial expression can make someone feel for days. You never know how you can impact others…even strangers, that you will never see again.

3. THERE IS A STORY BEHIND EVERY BABY BUMP: In your eyes, you saw a 20-something woman, absolutely ready to pop. But what you didn’t see is everything I have been through leading up to this point.

You weren’t there when the doctor sat me down and said I would probably not be able to conceive a child and experience pregnancy in my life. You weren’t there when I got pregnant with a miracle baby, but lost him 11 weeks later. You weren’t there when I finally became a mom through InVitro, to our miracle girl who is my world. You weren’t there with every ultrasound, procedure and shot as we created this second baby. And you weren’t there through every tear, prayer and plead for this miracle to come to pass.

Every woman has a story. Every baby has a story. And the miracle behind the bump is something to always remember.

4. YOU BET IT’S A BUMP…AND IT IS AWESOME: I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a little jealous of my big ole belly, because frankly – carrying a baby around for nine months is probably the coolest experience in life.

To feel a little baby twirling, kicking, hiccuping and literally doing karate inside of you is simply the BEST feeling in this world. To know that a little human being is growing at a rapid pace INSIDE of my body, honestly brings me to tears. It is a beautiful, special and sacred responsibility we hold as women and I wouldn’t trade this experience for ANYTHING in this world.

5. I HOPE YOU FIND JOY: Being pregnant has brought me THE GREATEST joy, a joy that I can’t really explain. I hope that one day, you will be able to experience the joy that my pregnant body, although very large and extremely noticeable and clearly made you speechless, has brought to me.

Being a mom… a dad… a parent in general, is the craziest, funnest, wildest, BEST job in the entire world and I hope you will understand that one day. And not understand it, but FEEL it.

6. WE TAKE PRIDE IN OUR BABY BUMPS: I hope you know sir, that as women who are rockin’ our baby bumps or postpartum bodies – that we aren’t going to let your not-very-kind facial expressions or witty one-word-greetings bring us down. The world today tells us women that we have to have the “perfect” bodies with teeny little basketball bumps and that we need to be back to our pre-pregnancy weight by the time we walk out of the hospital.

But today, I am telling you that it’s time that we, as women, take pride in our baby bumps. No matter how much weight we may gain or how much weight we aren’t able to lose – we are a part of an incredible adventure.

Every stretch mark means our bellies have grown to make room for a little baby. Every popped out belly button means things are getting REAL tight in there. Every swollen finger, foot and ankle means our bodies are hard at work. And every waddle means one step closer to meeting our little miracle babies.

7. PREGNANT BODIES ARE INDEED…PERFECT: Before I met you, I didn’t think I looked perfect. My husband sure looked good, but if you remember, I told you how I literally sat in a pile of clothes that don’t fit me anymore, just moments before you greeted me.

But thanks to you, I have had some time to realize that my body IS perfect. That ALL pregnant and postpartum bodies are perfect. That women’s bodies are capable of incredible miracles, including creating LIFE.

Every time I see my body or another woman who is carrying a child inside or outside of the womb, I will probably think of your “WOAH” comment – and instead of thinking “WOAH” I am huge and I waddle and I look ridiculous…

I am going to think “WOAH” this is amazing! “WOAH” this is beautiful. And “WOAH” this is absolutely PERFECT.

Join us in LOVING our baby bumps and postpartum bodies by sharing this article and posting a photo on Facebook or Instagram using #mombodpride. 

Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

December 20, 2016 by Danielle Davis | 2 Comments