Motivating Mother – Aleta Young

Motivating Mother Moments are one of my very favorite parts of this blog and I am grateful for the opportunity I have today to introduce you to another mother in my life that has been an example to me. This aunt of mine (she feels more like a friend or sister than an aunt because she is MY age!) has taught me how to be strong. She has taught me how to be faithful. She has taught me how to trust in our Heavenly Father when the storms of life fall upon us.

Aleta was born and raised in Monroe, Washington (a small town north of Seattle). She is the youngest of 6 kids! She met her sweetheart, Bryan, at BYU and was married in the LDS Seattle Washington temple in 2005. She graduated from BYU in 2007 with a B.S. in Geography w/ an emphasis in Travel & Tourism. She currently serves as the YW Secretary in her ward and is a stay at home mom to an adorable 18 month old boy.

Here are Aleta’s words on motherhood:

I have 2 1/2 children and have been a mom for about 4 1/2 years. I’m pregnant right now with baby #3, (who was quite the surprise!) – he counts as the extra 1/2. Becoming a mom for the first time was a bit overwhelming – not in the sense that I felt like I didn’t know how to care for a baby, but just because it completely changes everything about your life and daily routine. But I love being a mother because I have learned so much about love, Christ’s Atonement, the Plan of Salvation, priorities, sacrifice,….the list could go on and on!

My oldest daughter, Holland, was born in May 2009. She has taught me more in her 4 years of life than I could have ever imagined. Just after her 3rd birthday she was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. After 4 – yes 4 – brain surgeries to remove it, we thought we were done. Unfortunately we only got a short 3 1/2 month break before the tumor unexpectedly came back and had mutated to a grade 2 (but still benign) tumor. So 1 year ago, in December of 2012, she had surgery #5. She started chemotherapy in January of 2013 to (hopefully) permanently get rid of it. We somewhat easily sailed through 6 months of chemo, only to discover that the tumor had come back again and this time spread throughout her brain and down her spine. So we switched drugs and prayed for the best. Just 1 month later, Holland very unexpectedly passed away. The tumor had unknowingly and completely taken over her brain in that short time. Later, the pathology revealed that the tumor that killed her was a completely different one than what we had thought – she had developed a grade 4, very malignant and aggressive tumor that was formed out of different cells than the original tumors. That meant that this time it didn’t mutate – it was a completely different type of cancer that just also happened to be in her brain. This quite literally never happens – there has never been a documented pediatric case of this happening with the tumors that she had.

I learned a lot during Holland’s 14 month battle with brain cancer. One of the best things we tried to do with her was to make life normal and fun. Yes, there was lots of time spent in the hospital and lots of pain, but we balanced that with fun activities that she liked to do. We tried to maximize the time we had together as a family – and activities and going out to eat often revolved around what she wanted to do (luckily her younger brother Dallin was an infant and therefore too young to complain about why we got to do everything that she wanted to!).

To her, brain cancer was just part of her life, but it didn’t take it over. She still had some of that childhood innocence and we tried to preserve that as best we could. We dealt with the things we needed to when they came up and moved on. We didn’t focus on the cancer. So honestly, strangers and even quite a few acquaintances didn’t know about her condition. I learned from her to have a good attitude despite difficult situations. But this experience came with a lot of heartache. With each chemo treatment I cringed just knowing what we were putting in her body. It made me feel horrible – toxic drugs that were killing the healthy cells too. But this was our best option to keep her alive – to essentially kill her at the same time.

Times when I thought it was too much and I couldn’t do it – family and friends were there to help and Heavenly Father showed us that He was there too. And now that she has passed on from this life, I treasure the memories I have with her – even most of the bad ones! I miss her, sometimes more than words can describe. But I’m so grateful that she was a part of our life and that Heavenly Father allowed us to have her amazing spirit be part of our family. I can’t wait for the day that I get to be reunited with her!

My favorite thing about being a mom is watching my kids discover things. Trying new foods, seeing different animals at the zoo, gaining new skills – it’s all so exciting for them and it therefore becomes exciting for me too as I see the satisfaction and wonderment on their faces.

I guess my piece of advice is to not take things for granted and to really spend quality time with your family. I think I was just “ok” at that before, but after the death of my daughter, I think (and hope!) I’m a lot better at it. I knew Holland was a pretty amazing kid in a lot of ways – she was advanced with all of her developmental milestones, she was funny, silly, spunky, and truly LOVED life. The challenge is to not forget how amazing your child is and not take them for granted even when they’re misbehaving. It was hard to remember what a special spirit she was when she smeared poop on the wall out of spite when she was 2 1/2 years old! I guess that is one bad memory that I don’t necessarily treasure…but there are countless other memories that I do.

Don’t worry about and waste time comparing yourself to others – just do the best YOU can and each day try to be a little better. And don’t worry about trying to create crazy and super involved traditions just because someone else does it – what matters most is quality time together as a family. Just a few days before Holland died (and the last day she spent at home), all she wanted to do was to be together as a whole family. I think she knew her time left was short and she was trying to teach us a lesson on how important family is. If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: Family is so important and motherhood is a great and noble calling, so enjoy it and be thankful for what you have!

*Holland passed away just six months ago. I am grateful to call her my cousin. I know that she is watching over Aleta and her beautiful family. I love the quote, “Because someone we love is in heaven, there’s a little bit of heaven in our home.” I know that heaven is in their home.

Holland changed my life. She changed many lives. And she continues to change lives daily. She is our angel and we love her so very much! This video was put together by my husband, In loving memory of Holland.

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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

March 3, 2014 by Danielle Davis | 6 Comments