“When are you going to have another one?!”
This is a question I get asked weekly… sometimes even daily. Whether we are at the doctor’s office or grocery store, play groups or family gatherings, it is almost always guaranteed to come up.
To the world, you are a two-year-old. A little girl who loves to have dance parties, play with your kitchen, go up and down the slide, eat yummy treats and being outside. For those who do not know us or our story, you look like an average, energetic, often times very shy, toddler who is constantly learning about life and finding new words to say every day.
But little do they know, you are a miracle. You are my miracle.
Some questions you have heard a lot of people ask me lately have been, “When are you going to have another one?” “Don’t you want to have other children so she isn’t spoiled?” “You don’t want her close to her siblings?” “Don’t wait too long before you make her a brother or sister.” “Don’t you worry about her hating being the only child one day?”
I know you hear these questions and wonder how to answer them. Life has brought some very special challenges to us and because of those challenges we are a little different from other families. As you grow you will learn about how unique you are and why you mean the world to me.
It is because you are so special that I want to make sure to pass on 5 specific words of advice to you as you grow.
1. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE.
When I was your age, all I wanted was to become a mom. A lot of my friends wanted to be teachers, nurses and veterinarians…but I wanted YOU! I wanted a baby to hold, feed, kiss, teach and snuggle. I wanted my name to be “Mom” and would often times pretend to be one.
Sometimes in life, things don’t go exactly how we plan. Bad things happen to good people and life gets really hard! When things don’t go exactly how you want – remember that everything is going to be okay and it all works out in the end.
Mommy and Daddy wanted you to be a part of our family for a really long time before you came! It was a hard time for us, but we decided to focus on our marriage and preparing our home to be a place where you would love to be one day. We tried to show love to each other and speak kind words, in preparation of hoping to be your parents one day! It was fun to imagine what you would be like and look like. We loved our time together and were so excited the day we found out you were finally going to be a part of our family!
It’s okay to be sad sometimes. Every now and then a good cry is healthy! But after you cry for a few minutes, pick yourself up, brush off and put that beautiful smile on your face. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured! Have fun in everything you do and remember to laugh as much as possible.
2. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
A lot of people have different things going on in their lives. Some people may look happy and flawless, but you never really know exactly what they are going through.
Some women would love to have babies, but don’t have the opportunity yet. Some women have a baby or two, but would love to have more. Never judge a book by it’s cover – sometimes people are smiling on the outside, but hurting on the inside.
Be sensitive to others. Be cautious of those in need. Be kind to everyone, for each of us are going through hard battles.
3. GREAT THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR.
You are going to have a lot of things in life that you want. Sometimes they are good, righteous dreams that for some reason cannot be achieved quickly. Not everything happens on our time table – in fact, often times we have to work hard and have a Plan B, C, D or even E!
The things in life that you want, but you do not receive immediately, are often the most special, treasured gifts in life! Your dad and I waited over five years until we got to finally meet you – and the day I became your mom was the best day of my entire life!
Make goals and work hard to achieve them. There is no greater feeling in the entire world, than the moment you get something you have been dreaming of forever.
4. FAMILIES ARE FOREVER.
No matter what a family is made up of – families are what is most important. Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Some of your friends may only have one mom or one dad. Some may have a lot of brothers and sisters and some may not have any – but no matter the size or how many people they live with, family always comes first and everyone is loved just the same.
You may be the only child and we may always have a small family, but our family bond and love is just as big as anyone else’s! You are never alone and we are so excited that we get to be a family forever!
5. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.
I was told many years ago that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be a mom. I was told that it would be nearly impossible for me to have a baby and my dreams of becoming a mom were completely shattered.
But I want you to remember to NEVER take no for an answer.
The moment the doctor laid you in my arms, wrapped in a striped blanket – I knew that I was holding a real miracle! Tears rolled out of my face uncontrollably, as I kissed your forehead. Miracles really do happen.
Always believe in yourself. Never lose faith – I promise that anything can happen. There is no such thing as the impossible.
A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.” – Franchesca Cox {Tweet This}
This post is dedicated to all women who struggle with infertility on a daily basis. I want each of you to know that you are not alone and miracles do happen.
Join the newsletter
Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
Google+
Jessica
April 29, 2017 at 8:03 am (7 years ago)So beautiful! My miracle came 10 years after TTC via adoption. I was able to witness my daughter being born and bring her home two days later. This story really hits home me, even if I was not able to conceive. My daughter is still a miracle.
Sara
October 8, 2016 at 12:54 am (8 years ago)This is beautifully written it took 1 mc and 3 years to conceive our daughter and then it took 4 years and plenty of tests and 3 miscarriages 1 tubal to get my son here. They are everything to my husband and I. I wouldn’t change it for the world I appreciate and value their lives so much more.
Lindsay Faria
April 27, 2016 at 8:37 pm (8 years ago)Hi Danielle!
Thank you for this sweet, heartfelt post. I enjoyed every word, maybe because I too can relate to fertility struggles. I’d love for you to read our fertility journey & birth story. When you have some time pop by! http://wp.me/p3DxuY-LI
Lindsay
Tanya
February 5, 2016 at 4:03 pm (8 years ago)Thank you so much for this beautiful letter my miracle baby just turned 3 in December . and lately I feel so much pain that we might not be able to have a sibling for her . I’m so grateful for her but I would love for her to have someone else beside us , for one day when we are no longer around . You letter bring me so much comfort , I read it daily most days .
Jean
February 5, 2016 at 1:17 am (8 years ago)Thank you for your sole bearing letter. Im still waiting for our little miracle. I just had an embryo transfer literally 2 hours ago. I take from your strength and determination so i can keep fighting till i hold my little one xo
amy
February 1, 2016 at 4:15 am (8 years ago)i had to wait much longer than expected for my second child, my kids are five years apart and they are as close as i dreamed! kids are close based on personality, not years.
Gsimpson
January 24, 2016 at 5:00 am (8 years ago)I needed to hear this so much. So many days are so hard.
Britini
January 16, 2016 at 10:27 pm (8 years ago)Thank you so much. I really needed this today.
Carrie
January 15, 2016 at 1:47 am (8 years ago)Thank you for sharing this. After surgery and years of trying we finally sought help and we were lucky enough to conceive our beautiful boy/girl twins on the first round of ivf but I was really young for ivf standards. I am constantly asked when I am having more. I am not sure if I could even have more and it hurts all the time. They are going to be 2 in 2 months. I love my children more than anything and I just want to focus on giving them the best life possible.
Carrir
January 15, 2016 at 1:44 am (8 years ago)Thank you for sharing this. After surgery and years of trying we finally sought help and we were lucky enough to conceive our beautiful boy/girl twins on the first round of ivf but I was really young for ivf standards. I am constantly asked when I am having more. I am not sure if I could even have more and it hurts all the time. I love my children more than anything and I just want to focus on giving them the best life possible.
Stefanie
October 25, 2015 at 4:19 pm (9 years ago)Thank you for sharing this. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. xo
Mindy
October 6, 2015 at 1:52 pm (9 years ago)This was beautiful. We also have a miracle toddler and we just miscarried his younger sibling. I’m definitely one of those people who is smiling on the outside, but hurting on the inside. Thank you for sharing.
Jenna
October 2, 2015 at 2:33 am (9 years ago)Beautiful and perfectly written. It felt like you wrote my very own story. After 3 failed embryo transfers to try for #2 you have reminded me to appreciate what I already have and to keep smiling. Thank you!
Ashley
July 29, 2015 at 9:07 pm (9 years ago)This was absolutely beautiful. It uplifted me in ways I can’t explain. Thank you. We’re praying for our little miracle daily.
Bella
April 12, 2015 at 8:36 am (9 years ago)Thank you!! So nicely written and encouraging .It’s time to make lemonade. 🙂 ,xx
Rosemary Flynn
April 8, 2015 at 1:42 pm (9 years ago)All your words are powerful and uplifting but you must stress that things don’ t always work out and that is OK as well. I am 57 yrs old and struggled with infertility for 25 of my 35 year marriage. I never conceived a child nor did adoption work out for us either. I still have an empty space where my child should be but my husband and I have made peace with it.
Life may throw you lemons but if lemonade is not possible learn to put those lemons aside and try other fruits that satisfy the appetite.
Christie
April 8, 2015 at 11:36 am (9 years ago)oh my gosh… Thank you for writing this… I swear you have taken the words exactly from how they have been in my mind… My 2 year old daughter means the world to me … And she will never be known as an ‘only child’ ip but rather a very special child… Thank you for making my heart smile and bringing happy tears to my eyes x
Jamie
March 8, 2015 at 4:34 am (9 years ago)I loved every word of this! We also struggled a little with 2 miscarriages, my little guy was totally worth the wait!! This is a great post for everyone, to remember to be sensitive…that anyone can be battling tough stuff on the inside. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Danielle Davis
March 10, 2015 at 10:27 pm (9 years ago)Hi Jamie! Thanks so much for sharing your story. Miscarriages are so hard and it is so hard to know the real affect that they have on our lives. I am so glad to hear that you were able to have a little guy. Treasure him always! Thanks for commenting!
Mirlandra
February 25, 2015 at 7:07 pm (9 years ago)Thank you. Just thank you!
Carol Ions
February 21, 2015 at 8:32 pm (9 years ago)Hi Danielle, you’ve just written about me and gorgeous miracle Neve. We tried for 12 years, 5 attempts at IVF and after the very last try where we were about to walk away, she came:-)
Such gorgeous beautiful words..
Thankyou xxxx
Laura
February 21, 2015 at 7:30 am (9 years ago)Totally beautiful to read and so true. I also have a two year old and is a miracle. People are constantly asking when we will have more and it really hurts. You have described how I feel beautifully. Thank you xx
Jo Adamson
February 21, 2015 at 7:09 am (9 years ago)Wonderful words. We were told we couldn’t have children and when the first round failed I was devastated. We tried again the very next cycle and were lucky. We now have a nearly 4 year old. But here’s the thing. We wanted 2, had another go at IVF when our first was 9 months old, it failed, my world fell apart (we weren’t going to bankrupt ourselves over it so no more goes). I quit work, it was just going to be me and her…. Except against all medical odds I fell pregnant the very next month! Now I have 2 miracle babies x
Lindsay
February 18, 2015 at 1:12 pm (9 years ago)This is absolutely beautiful, and such a great reminder for all of us. Thank you so much for sharing!
Danielle Davis
February 19, 2015 at 7:05 pm (9 years ago)Lindsay! Thank you for your comment. Your kind words are so sweet.
Ashley
February 18, 2015 at 4:14 am (9 years ago)I love this post. My husband and I struggled with infertility and were blessed with a daughter 3 years into trying. People do not understand how cutting their words can be when they ask about having children. I am honest about our infertility now, in hopes that I can teach them that those questions are better left unasked.
Danielle Davis
February 19, 2015 at 7:07 pm (9 years ago)Hi Ashley. I am so glad to hear that there are others out there like me. Infertility is such a struggle and it is never easy to be different but I am so happy to hear that you had success and have a beautiful blessing as a daughter. What are some things you do to recognize the blessings and stay positive during tough conversations?
Holly
February 18, 2015 at 3:47 am (9 years ago)Thank you for this sweet post. I have a 6 year old and we’ve been struggling for the last 3.5 years to give her a sibling, which most people don’t understand because our daughter was a surprise, who came just shortly after we were married. Thank you for putting your story out there.
Danielle Davis
February 19, 2015 at 7:14 pm (9 years ago)Holly, thanks so much for your comment. I went to your site and your daughter is adorable.
Tori
February 18, 2015 at 2:34 am (9 years ago)this brought so many tears to my eyes! Thanks for your wonderful example! When I was told it would be almost impossible for me to have kids I was an absolute mess! Your wonderful example helped me through it! Now here I am with 2 beautiful miracle babies that are here despite what medicine says, but I still get the same questions from people about more babies! People really don’t understand our circumstance! While I hope we will continue to be blessed with kids I am so grateful for the ones we already have and want them to know these things!
Danielle Davis
February 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm (9 years ago)Hi Tori! I am so happy that you were able to find success. Your little ones are just so cute! Thanks for commenting!
Katie
February 18, 2015 at 1:56 am (9 years ago)I love you. Period, the end! You are such a super mom and such an amazing example to all women!
Danielle Davis
February 19, 2015 at 7:14 pm (9 years ago)Thank you Katie! That is so nice of you girl! Thanks for commenting!