I was driving in my car on a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining and I was heading to an appointment that I had been looking forward to for years. The radio was turned off in the car as my mind was going a million miles a minute – so it was silent and I could just hear the wind blowing against the car.
My heart was POUNDING SO HARD that I could literally feel it in my HEAD.
Is this what I am supposed to be doing? Is our family complete? Am I jumping the gun? What if it doesn’t work? What if we spend ALL of our money, ALL of our time and ALL of our energy…and don’t get the baby we are dreaming of?
I pulled into the parking lot and saw on the windows “The Fertility Center” and suddenly EVERY emotion from four years ago came FLOODING back.
I thought to myself, “Am I ready for this? … AGAIN?!”
Four years ago I went through the hardest treatments I never imagined having to go through. Things that I don’t wish upon ANYONE. Through hundreds of tests, procedures, surgeries, needles, shots and prayers – I was blessed with my miracle baby, who is everything I could have ever even imagined. In fact, she is so perfect that we want so badly for her to become a big sister – so she can enjoy the blessings that come from having a sibling!
The thing about infertility is that it is something that never goes away. It is something that a woman {or man} who is diagnosed with it, will {often times} have to live with forever. Even AFTER they have a miracle baby.
Every baby announcement. Every baby shower. Every baby that cries. Every baby that smiles. Every baby… EVER?! Will remind them of their struggle.
As I sat in my car alone, wondering if I could REALLY go inside the building and do this all over again – an overwhelming feeling of things I have learned from infertility hit me like a bag of bricks! And today I would like to share 16 of those things…
16 Things Infertility Has Taught Me:
1. LIFE IS NOT EASY: It is actually really really hard sometimes.
2. THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS GO THE WAY WE PLAN: In fact, they rarely do. If plan A doesn’t work, then we go on to plan B…or C… or D. Luckily, there are a lot of letters in the alphabet so we can just keep changing plans if needed.
3. PATIENCE IS IMPORTANT: An attribute that is hard to have, but a special one that is needed… through ANY trial we may go through.
4. WHEN LIFE IS TOO HARD TO STAND, KNEEL: There is someone who is always ready to listen and knows EXACTLY what you are going through. Go to Him through prayer.
5. TRIALS CAN BRING YOU CLOSER TO THOSE YOU LOVE: What is most important almost always involves the people around you.
6. EVERY FAMILY IS DIFFERENT: AND your family is perfect. Don’t judge. Don’t compare. Don’t worry about the Jones’s. Focus on YOURS and remember that families are forever.
7. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GOING THROUGH: Although someone may have a smile on their face, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t hurting. “In fact sometimes the strongest ones around us are those who who smile through the pain, cry behind closed doors and fight battles nobody knows about.”
8. BATHS HEAL EVERYTHING: But seriously – they really do.
9. DO SOMETHING FUN WHEN THINGS DON’T GO YOUR WAY: You deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone. SO when a negative test comes back or another bump comes in your road – go get ice cream. Go shopping. Read a book. Do something YOU love.
10. NEVER, EVER GIVE UP: There will be times that you want to. There will be times that you DO. But pick yourself up and try again.
11. IT’S OKAY TO BE SAD: A good cry is healthy – even if you look ridiculous while doing it. Don’t let anyone tell you not to cry… or not to be sad… because it’s not just okay, but it’s TOTALLY normal.
12. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY: After you have a few minutes of tears, pick yourself up and carry on with a smile. Life is MUCH more fun with a smile.
13. ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL: You will always have trials and hard times come your way – but it seems like after the craziest bumps we experience, the most incredible blessings come.
14. MAKE GOALS: And work hard to achieve them. It feels SO good when you reach them and you know that you did everything you could to get what you wanted.
15. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON: Even if you don’t see the reason for a long…long… long time.
16. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE IMPOSSIBLE: Never take NO as an answer. Never give up. Never lose faith. And never forget that the BEST things in life are TRULY worth waiting for!
After sitting in my car for a long while and seeing this list of 16 things – I walked into the office and said, “I AM READY!”
I am ready for every shot…every test… every procedure…every tear… and every prayer… because it’s worth it. And I know what is possible.
Follow our journey as we are makin’ baby number 2 through IVF on Instagram and Facebook! #makinbabynumber2
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Danielle is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day! 
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Kim
May 23, 2017 at 11:50 pm (7 years ago)One of the only infertility blogs that hasn’t ticked me off. The only one I don’t agree with is 15. Everything happens for a reason. Yes, I have a disease of endrometriosis. There’s nothing else to it. I’m not thankful for going through it so I’m glad that wasnt mentioned. It’s like putting your life on hold for yrs and watching everyone else live their lives. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that sooner or later ill get what I want because I’m willing to go into massive debt to get it which is what you have to do with infertility. It’s the most isolating, depressing, hopeless, out of control, inferior feeling you will ever have in your life. Oh…did I mention I use to be a happy person? Honestly, I have no Clue where that person went…maybe she died in the ocean of tears I cried over these 5 years or was cut away during my infertility surguries.
Stephanie
April 6, 2017 at 4:22 am (7 years ago)We went through this for our little boy we have now. All the tests, treatments, shots, calls about unsuccessful treatments were ended…or so I thought. We finally had our first successful pregnancy 4 years into trying, Until, 11 weeks that is. Our little one that we were carrying almost completely through that scary 1st trimester was gone. Losing that little one was so hard and trusting God was even harder. But God knew how much He could handle and told us to hold on and He would carry us though. He did…with my husband and I crying all the way… but He did. Then we started treatments a few months after the miscarriage and went through another cycle of treatments. That treatment we got pregnant with our little man. I had a very hard emotional pregnancy because they were sure he had something wrong with him. The Drs even mentioned that we could always get an abortion if needs be. My husband and I Know that life comes from God and we were not about to take God’s blessing away. I tell you what when that little guy was born he was as perfect in every way that a human being can be. I wanted to take him in to that group of Drs and show them. It would be nice to have a sibling for him but like you said, the thought of going through that is hard to put yourself through again, but we have a God who is big enough to carry us through it when we can’t do it on our own. Lots of Prayers for you all
Juliana
February 12, 2017 at 4:49 pm (7 years ago)I needed to read this today! Thank you!
Kori
December 13, 2016 at 4:02 pm (7 years ago)Thank you for the words of encouragement! My husband and I have been TTC for 3 years now for our first child and it’s hard sometimes to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At the beginning of next year we plan on sitting down with fertility specialists. xoxo
Helen
October 28, 2016 at 9:05 pm (7 years ago)I am new to this blog. Just went through my first donor egg IVF and was so excited with my pregnancy, however miscarriage happened right before my 7th week u/s. Out of blue, and so heart broken. Can’t believe it!
I felt all the pain/stress and wish all the ladies going through this procedure blessed with healthy angels.
Shelby
October 23, 2016 at 5:45 pm (7 years ago)I loved this!! So true! I thought I was the only one who still feels sad when others are pregnant we have beautiful twin 4 yr old boys through IVF and will do a FET cycled in another yr. I am excited but all those emotions I know are already coming again. Praying for Gods favor and peace. Good luck for your 2nd!! God speed!
Sarah
June 16, 2016 at 6:37 pm (8 years ago)Love this. We have been trying to conceive for 5+ years now. Thousands of dollars gone to no avail. I came across this article at work today and I’m sitting here crying like an idiot! (Thanks for that, I apparently needed it) I so needed to read this today and cannot wait to share with my husband. I know that ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that God is in control.. just some days are harder than others. Thanks again for this list .. it made my day a little brighter knowing I’m not alone. <3
Jessica
March 23, 2016 at 7:25 pm (8 years ago)I loved reading this. I have also went through five miscarriages, 3 failed IUI’s, I am now on my second IVF treatment. My first was in December and it was successful but I miscarried on my birthday in January of this year. Now I am waiting until this Friday to get my blood test to see if the second IVF was successful. We are keeping our fingers crossed and praying hard! Good luck to you all!
Julie M
February 12, 2016 at 12:30 am (8 years ago)I just found your blog and this post again has me in tears. I am completing my second round of IVF after the first one was unsuccessful. This again expressed everything I am thinking and feeling. These are good reminders that I will keep with me.
Alex
February 5, 2016 at 2:36 pm (8 years ago)I’m wishing you all the best!!! We have also been through the same path, 4 long years trying to have a baby and then finally IVF treatment, so I can definitely relate. May all your dreams come true!
Melanie
January 21, 2016 at 7:10 pm (8 years ago)I am so inspired by you and your posts! We are starting to go through our 2nd round of IVF too! Just like you said we have one miracle already but want to bless her with a sibling.
Danielle
January 21, 2016 at 4:20 am (8 years ago)You’re strength is beautiful. I wish you and your family the best during this challenging journey!
JJ Caraway
January 21, 2016 at 3:46 am (8 years ago)What a wonderful post this was to read. I used fertility pills and was blessed with a wonderful son for my first born. I then had a beautiful daughter three years later. They are both such a blessing because at the age of 28 I had to have a complete hysterectomy. Sending prayers your way.
Erica
January 21, 2016 at 1:37 am (8 years ago)I will be praying for you; for stillness and for God’s favor, that he will give you the desires of your heart. We are in year two of trying and I am also headed into fertility treatment soon. I’m nervous about how crazy the drugs are going to make me, am I in God’s will, how much $ it’s going to cost, etc. You are right that we notice every cute baby. My heart feels a stab every time. It is however so uplifting when I hear a success story. I will be thinking of you as you go through this journey. Please pray for mine as well:).
Debbie
January 21, 2016 at 1:33 am (8 years ago)Thanks for the inspiration! I love post and I can totally relate. We went through IVF for our daughter and are working on baby #2! Wishing you all the best!
Fatima
January 21, 2016 at 1:33 am (8 years ago)I cannot imagine the pain you and many other women in this situation feel, but I’m glad i was able to get a glimpse of it through your post.
I love every one of these lessons, especially from #9 on.
Danielle
January 21, 2016 at 12:55 am (8 years ago)I am SO excited for you and your family!!! If there Is anything I can do (watch Laila. Bring food or treats) please just shoot me a text!! You and the family are in our thoughts and prayers. 😘