10 Things All Moms Need To Stop Apologizing For

There was a knock at my door.

It was 11am and I still hadn’t even showered for the day. Cartoons were on as background noise as my two-year-old and I were playing “cook” as she calls it, with her play kitchen. She was making me eggs with donuts, corn and french fries. She was mixing everything together saying, “stir. stir. stir.” while I sat against the wall just watching her.

I didn’t want to clean – I honestly didn’t even really know where to begin. Between the piles of dirty laundry overflowing from the baskets, the full trash cans that clearly needed to be emptied, the dishes piling up, the dust appearing on shelves, the food crumbs in the kitchen and the little bits of play-dough all over our wood floors – what was I supposed to tackle first? I had decided none of it. It could wait. I would rather just sit and play “cook” with my girl anyway.

I hadn’t showered yet – so I wasn’t looking too pretty. My hair was greasy because I hadn’t washed it in… oh, I lost track how long ago I actually shampooed my hair, maybe like four days? I remember it was well over-do because that’s why I hadn’t showered yet. It was “wash your hair” day and I knew it would take me two hours just to get ready! My hair takes literally forever to dry!

So between my dirty house and my not-so-beautiful looks…. I didn’t answer the door. But then  there was another knock at the door. Whoever was there… was STILL there.

I looked out the window to see who it was – it was my very good friend from down the street. After a mental war with myself, deciding if I should open the door or not, my hands took over and suddenly flew the door open without me truly being mentally prepared. Before she could say anything I started RAMBLING…

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry it took me so long to answer the door – we were playing! I’m sorry my house looks like an earthquake hit, but you are welcome to come in! I’m sorry about the way I look, I haven’t showered!”

I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… In three seconds, I had said the word sorry seven times. SEVEN.

My cute friend replied with a statement that has become my new motto for this year – “there is no reason to be sorry.”

As moms, why are we so quick to apologize about a dirty house? Because we have been playing “cook” with our two-year-olds all morning? Why are we so quick to apologize about the way we look? Because we were too busy to take care of ourselves earlier that morning?

There are a few things ALL moms need to stop apologizing for. And today I share with you the top 10.

10 Things All Moms Need to Stop Apologizing For

10 Things All Moms Need To Stop Apologizing For - LOVE Today's The Best Day

1. YOUR HOUSE: You know, that place you LIVE?! No matter how big or small, dirty or clean, crazy or quiet your house may be – moms often find themselves saying their house is dirty. Don’t apologize about the piles of laundry, the sticky tables, the little handprints on the windows, the crumbs on the floor, the dust on the fans, the dishes in the sink – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

2. YOUR LOOKS: Are you familiar with the “mom look?” The look of a multi-tasker, busy-bee, exhausted yet energized, worried yet confident, a little bit of crazy with a lot of happy and sometimes {or often times} with a little stain or two on a shirt and leggings? It’s normal and you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

3. YOUR CHILD’S LOOKS: I always thought my girl would never have a dirty face, especially  never have boogers. But I quickly learned that kids are dirty! And it’s totally fine! If we are letting our kids be little, they are going to get dirt on their face, in their fingernails, up their noses and between their toes. Sometimes runny noses are constant and you just can’t keep up with them. They get messy when they eat and stains on their clothes are completely natural. Their hair can be a hot mess and they may like to wear a Mickey Mouse shirt with Minion leggings and a crown on their head at all times – but you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

4. A FUSSY BABY AND/OR A CRAZY TODDLER: That moment when you’re at the grocery store and your toddler just won’t stay in the cart. That moment when you’re out to dinner and your child just won’t sit still. That moment when you’re on an airplane and your baby just won’t stop crying. It’s normal. We’ve ALL been there – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

5. HIDING IN THE CLOSET FOR A FIVE MINUTE BREAK: Sometimes moms need to get away. We don’t get one hour lunch breaks or are able to swipe off the clock and check-out. So, you may need to go into hiding for just a few minutes to reevaluate. It may be just to sit in peace and quiet. It may be to eat a piece of chocolate without them seeing. It may be to pee. It may be to check Instagram. It may be to literally hide. Every mom wants this – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

bathroom break

6. SAYING “I CAN’T”: For some reason, as women we think we have to do everything. You may feel like you constantly need to attend EVERY birthday party, EVERY girls night out, EVERY lunch date, EVERY service project and EVERY thing. But you can say, “I can’t” without feeling guilty. You may have a husband that needs some love. You may have a child that needs some attention. You may have a baby that needs to be fed. YOU may just need a little break. Say “no”. Say “I can’t.” – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

7. YOUR CAR: Oh, a mother’s car. There are some moms whose cars are literally flawless – and I am envious of you. To you, you REALLY have nothing to apologize for. But this is for you moms who are like me – if your car has crackers between every little seat crack, toys and books galore, trash, empty juice boxes, an extra pair of shoes for some reason and sippy cups upon sippy cups – to you, – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

8. YOUR PARENTING: Whether you go to work or are a stay-at-home mom. Whether you breast feed or bottle feed. Whether you go to the gym or don’t go to the gym. Whether your babies eat sweets or don’t eat sweets. Whether you are over-protective or care-free. Whether you make dinner or bring in fast food. Whether you watch tv or don’t watch tv. – you’re fine. Do the best for YOU and your family. There is no reason to be sorry.

9. YOUR EMOTIONS: One minute your laughing, the other your bawling hysterically? It’s called hormones. AND being a girl. 🙂 –  you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

10. “NOT DOING ENOUGH”: Last, but certainly not least – you are enough. Being a mom is enough. No matter how many children you have – one or nine. No matter what you do throughout the day or how hard you feel like you have worked. No matter what people say or how they make you feel. No matter how confident or not-so-confident in your mothering life you feel right now… PLEASE know – you’re fine. There is no reason to be sorry.

Next time you find yourself feeling guilty and embarrassed – don’t apologize. Because remember – you’re a mom. YOU. ARE. A. MOM. There is NO reason to be sorry.

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6 Comments on 10 Things All Moms Need To Stop Apologizing For

  1. Valerie
    March 25, 2015 at 7:11 pm (9 years ago)

    We moms are so good at feeling like we need to apologize about everything and we need to be better at everything. This is a great reminder. It’s helpful to have someone with you who understands all this, but for those of us who don’t, we just need to tell ourselves that it’s all okay.

    Reply
  2. Genevieve
    February 19, 2015 at 11:06 am (9 years ago)

    Thank you for this!!!

    Reply
  3. Jana
    January 19, 2015 at 7:59 pm (9 years ago)

    So loved this! I think as women in general we are far too conditioned to apologize for dumb little things that need no apology. Motherhood is messy, and there is no need to be sorry. Preach, girl! 🙂

    Reply
    • Danielle Davis
      January 30, 2015 at 12:33 am (9 years ago)

      Hi Jana! I loved what you said. Motherhood is messy and it is such an adventure isn’t it? Thanks for your comment!

      Reply
  4. Nora N.
    January 19, 2015 at 5:35 pm (9 years ago)

    I’m guilty for feeling sorry about everything but #4. I HATE when I get the Look from strangers, especially other women, about my fussy toddler. Don’t look at me like my child is terrible and act like you’ve never had a crazy child/relative. Please. Not their fault they’re being dragged around to the store!
    But yes everything else, I need to learn to accept as “this is part of life”

    Reply
  5. Dondrae Nelson
    January 17, 2015 at 5:11 am (9 years ago)

    i just want to say that I find you amazing. I have recently became a stay at home mom with my three kids. One 4. One 3. And one 6 months. At times I find myself going insane. But late a night when I should be sleeping, I find the time to read the things you write and it is so uplifting. When I feel like I’m not doing it right, or I’m not enough, I read your words and I’m simply reminded that we are the best that we can be and that’s all our husbands and children need. A happy mom. And that is enough. So thank you for all of your inspiring words. Thank you for reminding us all that it is okay that we aren’t perfect. Imperfection is beautiful 🙂 imperfection is reality

    Reply

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